Never Really Gave Up
by Skull Punkr
Summary: James finally decides to give up on Lily. She finally realizes that she should have said yes to him when she got asked the first time. LilyJames. MAJOR FLUFFINESS! T for LanguageOneshot


James Potter has always been infatuated with Lily Evans. He would chase her after class, trying to catch up with her ("Damn, for such a tiny little lady she walks fast!" he would exclaim.), and when he finally grabbed her arm and spun her around (which she would rip away from him at his contact), he would ask her once again to Hogsmeade. As an answer, she would either spit on his shoes and walk away, tell him she would go with him when Dumbledore finally died ("... which will be in about a hundred more years!" she would scream in his face.), or tell him he is such an insolant, egotistical, outrageously unattractive git ("...to her anyway!" Sirius, James's best friend, would comfort him with. "All the other girls would die of delight if you did as much as glance at them."). And the one time he actually succeeded in making her jealous and finally got a kiss out of her, she walked away from him. Again. For the five hundred sixtieth time (yes, James counted. He even counted how many steps she took. Right now it's two thousand three-hundred forty-five.). That's when he decided he gave up.

"You know what, Lily? I give up on you." James yelled after her, tears filling his hazel eyes. Yes, boys cried. Especially the manly, handsomely James Potter with the body of a god, thanks to Quidditch. (He wanted me to put that.)

Lily stopped dead in her tracks.

"Yeah." he yelled, his voice cracking. "I give up. You've always made me feel like something you would walk on. And I loved you for it. You were the only one who wouldn't say you fancied a snog in the broom cupboard. I give up on watching the way you chew on the tip of your quill whenever you were in deep thought, I give up on watching you bite on your nails when you didn't have a quill. I'm through watching the way you like to put a little bit of a skip in your walk when you're happy, when you drag your feet when you're sad, and the way you stomp your little feet when you're angry. I'm done with chasing after you, asking you to Hogsmeade, and then getting a no and a loogey getting hocked on my shoes."

Lily turned and listened to him, watching the tears run down his cheeks and drop on to his feet.

"I'm tired of getting the same answer every time. 'No, Potter.' 'I'll go out with you when pigs fly, Potter.' I even got on my broomstick and flew after you said that!"--At this, Lily smiled.--"I'm done with agonizing over you. I'm finished with watching the way your eyes become a bit brighter when you look at the sun, the way you always show your teeth when you smile, the way you pick at your bracelet when you're bored," --Lily look down and fingered her bracelet, which was just a gold and maroon thread braided together, given to her from her best friend, Jamie.-- "I'm sick of Sirius, Remus, and Peter comforting me and telling me, 'She's the only one who says that you are a prick just because she thinks you're so big-headed.' And I'm tired of screaming that that is why I love you so much. I love the way you twirl a little piece of your hair when you're listening to someone," --Lily looked at her fingers twirling a strand of her hair.--"I'm tired of glaring daggers at Cormac, Darius, Arthur, Amos, Frank, and even Remus when you went out with them. I'm through with watching every thing you do and thinking, 'She's the one I want to marry. She's the one I love. She's the only one I want.' I'm done with trying, and just now _finally_ succeeding at making you jealous. I'm finished with you. It's almost our last year here at Hogwarts and you still haven't gone out with me. I, whom you call an insolant, sodding, intolerable, arse-head, stupid, piggish, git, have asked you five hundred sixty times, counted two thousand three-hundred forty-five steps you took when you walked away from me, wrote you little notes just so you'll actually write something to me, even stopped asking you to Hogsmeade (I haven't even asked you at all this year.), and started calling you 'Lily' instead of 'Evans,' asking you if you had an extra quill, some ink and parchment to spare,"--by this time, Lily was crying to, and James was sobbing.--"I did anything just to talk to you more, Lily."

"You really pay attention to me?" Lily asked in a quiet voice.

"I've been paying attention to you for five years, dammit!" he screamed. "I'm sick of it now!" He turned and left.

"James. I'm sorry." Lily whispered into thin air before walking after him. Once in the Common Room, where he found Remus, Sirius, and Peter staring at her, wondering why their friend came in, sobbing, stalked up to the dorm, and slammed the door shut before screaming "FUCK!" She just shook and lowered her head, staring at her feet while she walked across the room and up to the girl's dorm and closed the door quietly. She didn't think anyone would hear her when she screamed, "I'M SO STUPID!"

------

The next couple of weeks were pretty much hell for Lily, and were sob stories for James. She ate her meals in silence, feeling the death glare of two Marauders, the apology face of one Marauder, and the 'I'm not over you, but I'm trying and I know you can tell I'm trying," glare of the last Marauder. She heard alot of jokes that were about her, hurting her, from the two Marauders death glaring at her most of the day. She also heard a lot of crying, and alot of sympathy. Sirius Black pulled so many pranks on Lily those weeks, that she had pink hair for one week plus a bloody lip and a spider bite on her arm, plus an enormous amount of bruises caused by so much poking from bewitched quills. Every time Sirius pulled a prank, James would say, "Stop, Padfoot, we're not supposed to prank... M-_Mudbloods_, remember? They're as vicious as Voldemort," making sure Lily would hear. This was a great surprise to Lily, as she remembered just last year that James had hexed Severus Snape for calling her such a bad name and said he'd never call her a "a you-know-what," as he so greatfully put it.

"Lily, are you fine?" Jamie asked her. "I mean, all of these pranks from Sirius, and the glares. Really, if Sirius and Peter had laser vision, you'd be dead with two holes the size of walnuts in your head right now."

"I don't know, Jamie!" Lily replied, finally breaking down. "I can't take it anymore. I... I think I finally realize why James loves me so much."

Jamie scoffed. "He doesn't love you, he's just got an infatuation with you."

"More of a stalking obsession." muttered their friend, Audrey.

"Shut up, Audy. And you too, Jammy." Lily defended James.

Audrey and Jamie were shocked. "B-But Lily, you hate him! You... You've always hated him."

"Not anymore." Lily said as they walked up to the portrait of the Fat Lady. At the same time, the Marauders came walking--or in James's case, sulking--by.

"Oh look, it's the dirty little heartbreaker." Peter would say darkly. Peter wasn't that much of a pussy, Lily found out.

Lily turned around. "Go on then. Do it."

"Do what?" Sirius retorted.

"Just hex me. I deserve it." Lily said, staring at her shoes. James saw a tear drop from her face and plop on the floor.

"Alright then." Sirius said, pulling out his wand. "Remember you wanted it."

"Don't you dare, Black!" Audrey warned.

"What are you going to do, Maroon?" Sirius asked. "Flash me? I'd rather like to see why your shirt is so fl-- _Whoa!_"

Sirius was hanging in the air upside down, as though a hook was hoisted around his ankles. Audrey and Jamie had their wands out.

"Aud, Jam, stop it. Let him down, _gently_." Lily said.

"Yeah, listen to your _Mudblood bitch_." James spat. Lily turned towards him, let him get a good glimpse of her face, then turned around.

"_Para More."_ she whispered to the Fat Lady. The Fat Lady swung open and replied, "I'm so sorry, dear."

Once inside, Lily dropped her bag and walked in front of the fire, sitting down on the rug. She looked into the great blaze of visible heat, thinking. She knew what she'd done to deserve this. The horrible name calling. The pranks. She broke James's heart. She shoved away the only one who actually loved her as... more. Other than the mean Slytherins, especially that weirdie Snape. She let out a big, loud sob she had been biting back, and finally released the tears.

"Heartbreaking should be a crime." she said to herself. "I'm such a big git. I thought James was just liking a chase. A bit of a challenge. I was wrong. _I WAS WRONG!" _She screamed.

"That you were." Remus's voice said. Lily turned around and found him standing there in front of the portrait hole. "I thought I'd come in and read a bit of _Hogwarts: A History_ before going to bed."

"Oh. Well, don't let me keep you from reading. I'm just going to go up to my dormitory and have a good... cry." Lily sobbed out. She stood and ran off to her dorm. She had shut the door when James and Sirius came climbing in with Audrey and Jamie.

"You know, Jamie, you're actually a really good kisser." Sirius grinned.

"Shut up, Black." was her answer, and together, she and Audrey walked up the stairs. Before going, Audrey turned around and said to James, "Your words really hurt her, Potter. You said you'd never call her a Mudblood. You've never called her anything bad in your life."

James didn't answer her. Instead he walked over and sat on the couch.

"Love sucks and life's a bitch. The only thing good in this world is you guys and butterbeer." James said.

"I do agree, love sucks. The good thing about it is getting girls to moan your name while you kiss their neck and toy with their breasts." Sirius said to him, smiling.

"Yeah, but I've never gone as far as second base. I've been... well..."

"Twirled around Evans' finger." Peter guessed. James nodded curtly.

"I'm turning in." he said, getting up and walking up the stairs to the dorm. Sirius, Remus, and Peter sighed together.

----

That night, James couldn't sleep. Audrey's words were burned into his mind. He got up, tiptoed out of the room, not bothering to put on his robe, and laid down on the couch in the Common Room. He stared into the fire, deep in thought. So deep, he didn't hear Lily padding down the steps. Lily didn't really see him, for her eyes were too puffy to be focusing, and sat on one of the chairs next to the fire. James saw a flash of her hair, taking him out of his thoughts.

"Can't sleep?" James asked her. Lily jumped.

"I swear to God, your voice is haunting me." she replied.

"I take that as a yes." he said, sitting up and walking over to her. He saw her tearstreaked face and her puffy eyes plus a red nose and asked her in a soft voice, "Hey what's wrong?"

"Oh now you're nice to me!" she said.

"Well, you haven't exactly been nice to me for five years!"

"I've endured pain and suffering for the last four weeks. I think it might have eased up a bit, but it's still as bad as it was when it started!"

Lily glared up at him, and James glared back down at her. He sank to his knees and grabbed a hold of her hand.

"I'm sorry."

"I beg your pardon?" she asked.

"I'm sorry that Sirius is such a prick. I told him to stop."

"Yeah, by calling me a Mudblood." Lily said grimly, not looking at him. James sighed.

"I screwed up."

"No."

"What?"

"You didn't screw up. I did." Lily looked James in the eyes before leaning forward and catching his lips in a kiss. James smiled.

He never really gave up on her.


End file.
